I love how clearly you tell your story.

Maybe you can practice recognizing the Prelude stage and shift into communications mode and establish a connection with someone you know/care about (Mrs. Rohag :-) before triggers?
(...)

You could "share" the blame a little and maybe that would help you not feel so bad about yourself.

(...)

I think you have really good self-knowledge/musings, Rohag. I would look at how you can use that to see if you can help you. You know that you won't direct your anger outward, so I would experiment, if I could, with doing a little bit more of that (since you'll shut down and "save" everything if it gets too much) and see if you can learn to yell at the inanimate objects, etc. and direct the anger at the situation/object responsible. You know how people apologize when someone else accidentally bumps into them? Why does the person who gets bumped apologize? Because it's an acknowledgement that "something" happened between two people. It's "shared". You need to share more of what's going on inside you so it can't build up so bad?