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May 04, 2010, 03:56 PM
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 45
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Leah,
I am so sorry your family responds like this.
Family should be there to care for and love us. Parents in particular. Also God intended them to have our best interest at heart and protect us, showing us who He really is. That is why it is so hard and painful when it doesn't happen. I know how it feels.
While it is good to pray and receive prayer it is no guarantee that that will heal us (I have also believers around me who ask me that first before even understanding what the illness is, kinda disheartening, as if you arent taken seriously: like oh, we'll pray and you will be fine.) It is NOT an evil spirit or an attack from the devil. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain - it is even proven that a brain from a BP looks different than the brain of a so called normal person! - and sometimes also a genetic disposition. Add in some traumas and voilą: there we are! Still, I believe in His healing. But I am also realistic: as long as I know I have BP I have to take the measures that help me to be as well as I can be. Thąt is my responsibility.
It sounds as if your family wants to make you responsible for being sick. I hope you know and feel deep down that that is not true. It is NOT your fault. Unfortunately it doesn't make the pain less that you suffer from the lack of interest and care from your family. There could be a million reasons for them to be like that, but in the end they are still your parents and you want them to be who they are meant to be.
My parents are very conditional, even after an absence of contact for nearly 20 (!) years. If I do not 'obey' those conditions, relationship is witheld. Their condition is harmful to me, so I haven't fulfilled them, hence no relationship... It hurts, even though I know they are not good for me, still there is this tug in my heart, this desire for contact. It sucks big time!
I am trying to do some educating around me, but it is hard for people to understand that you can't 'snap out' of it. As if it is all about will power. Yeah, right! If it was, we wouldn't be sick, would we!!!
I wish you all the wisdom you need in the contact with your family. I pray His comforting arms around you, may He give you what you need. If you feel you need some time in the hospital, discuss it with your T and pdoc and follow their advice. Do what is the best for you! Be kind to yourself!
The Crazy Rambler
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