Quite simply - your oldest will respect you again if you leave.

If you stay - your oldest will continue to identify (unhealthily) with your husband and you will loose your children as well. Its a sad thing. But you can do something about it!!

Please do it now before you get even more depressed. I know how you feel - I ve been there. My ex's kid started to abuse me and disrespect me when she saw how he is behaving. Now that I ve left - they all have respect for me because they know I have my limits and I look after myself - no matter how much I love him.

You will teach your kids an important lesson in self love and relationships. No one should endure this!!

The bad news is that abuse only gets worse with time. Today he calls you names and says you are a liar, tomorrow he ignores you, the next day he calls you crazy, the next day he calls you pathetic and hits you. Please dont wait for it to escalate.

If you love yourself and your kids - go. And this is the only way he will seek help. If there is a way... You have tried everything else and been so understanding. Its time to protect yourself and your kids from further harm. I am thinking about you.

There are huge sections about kids of abusive relationships and what it means, in the book 'Why does he do that - inside the mind of the abusive man'.

I wish you well and the courage to do the right thing by yourself and your children xxx