When I started therapy, I was not terribly comfortable with the T sitting facing me; I felt exposed. After two months, we started to work at a table, me at the end, and him on one side, to my left.
He moved offices in the fall, and there's no table. I've tried sitting next to his desk, but his computer took up most of the space and there was no place to put things down between us. So, finally, I asked if he would simply sit next to me, backs to the floor-to-ceiling windows (yes, a wall of glass in a therapy office....). So, each week I'd pull the chair from the corner and he'd roll over his desk chair.

Today he sat in the chair next to his desk, in the other corner of the room, said "This is where I am most comfortable doing therapy". He said he's a more effective therapist if he's sitting facing me, that's how he was trained.
I thought, what a load of crap, how you are more effective. Can I expect a 75% improvement in quality?
I thought, hey, what about where I am most comfortable doing therapy, it's my therapy!
I told him "You suck!"
Then the bad feelings start - like I was kicked in the stomach. I felt so rejected, like he is turning away from me, uncomfortable to have me any nearer. My head was buzzing. All the stuff I'd brought to discuss was gone, and here we were talking about my T and his boundaries.
I just faced the corner on the opposite side of the room.

Why do I care where he sits in relation to me? Is this about power?
Why do I feel so bad that he moved away from me? I'm pretty attached to this T, but why such a powerful reaction?

He offered to see me tomorrow, but I've got an audition. I booked an appt for next week. Not sure I'll even want to go back then.
Thoughts?