Oh carinheart, that is so good to hear!! Give yourself some credit for fighting as much as you have already and clinging on to that will to live, small and flickering as it may be. It is SO important and so wonderful that you are at least trying to stay afloat, and recognizing that you need help. That is often the most difficult part of the journey, and I believe that deep down you DO have the courage and willpower to reach out and get the help you need.

Perhaps it would be easier to write down what you need and give that paper to your worker, instead of saying it out loud. You could even pretend it says something else when you hand it to her. That way she will know you need more support but you won't have to say anything... like tricking yourself into it?

Either way, good luck and keep us posted!! I truly hope you start feeling better, or get that extra bit of support, that you need soon. Remember, every day you make it through is a huge victory and we're all so glad you've done it!!!