That was very eloquent Innerzone. It just shows that getting a proper dx is so important on many fronts: being able to address the illness thorugh meds and therapy, but also having yourself validated that there IS a majoe illness at play, it's not just a weakness of character - it's not that at all. You have a serious illness that requires serious solutions.

But I also understand your frustration and pain at the balancing act of communicating what's happening to people close to you. You need to vent and have love and support - but their love and support is not unconditional as you said - they judge, they minimise the nature of the illness or even that you have it. I've learned that people are preapred to be brave and learn about the illness - or they're not. And I've stopped trying to flog that dead horse.

And don't forget, and I think a lot of Beepers do forget this - all those family and friends are not perfect themselves, although they may like to try on their belief that because WE have the mental illness that they in comparison are perfect in all their glory. Ain't true and I'm not buying into that anymore.

But I must declare that I'm a cynic on this issue. I separated full from immediate and extended family in December permanently. I came out of abject denial that I had been in for decades that they loved and cared about me- a delusion I have cultivated for many years. Obviously it's been really hard, facing up to my delusion, then making the separation, then dealing with the grief that has ensured - But I have not regretting it for a moment - I know that for me this is one major aspect of life I needed to get sorted to enable my best run at a decent life. Doesn't stop the sadness though - but that's natural - it IS my whole family.

But I also know that some people with Bipolar are not in a position for various reasons to separate from family and I don't judge that. And I'm sure for some there is genuine love and caring, so it's worthwhile staying with family and friends in that case - but just adjusting expectations.