Hey Kaotic,

I remember when I first got out the service in 84'. I shacked up in a motel room for two weeks and litterary tried to drink myself to death, because of crap that didnt happen. Then, my blessing, which was my real mental illness kicked-in(d.i.d.).

From 84' til' 98' (civillian), I stood in front of the judge seven times for assault and, each time the judge ruled in my favor( I walked out the court room on my own free will).

Within the first three months of seperation of service, I was stabbed five times and had the drivers side of my xr7 ford courger riddled with seventeen rounds of 9mm(streets of balmer city).......and lived......because of service-connected crap that didnt happen......

I also lost, or forgot a years worth of time in service.

I found a letter, in my own handwriting, that I dont remember writing, stating how I felt, at the time of these incidences and it SCared the bajesus out of me

I stopped drinkin' and druggin' in 98', been plugged in to the VA since 99', was clean and sober for five years,(04'), before I was able to get the right/proper diagnosis from the va.....WOW....(still plugged in as of yesterday)...........

I also was awarded the AAM. I remember, it took me a year to realize I could wear it on my dress greens and when I did, I had an e-7 inspect me and he leaned in my face, as to inspect my shaving closeness, and asked "do you have orders to wear that"....and there I was, no rank on my sleeve, pvt. e-1, over two years in, with a fat-boy e-7 in my face that had it out for me, and he had no medals....and I replied "yes", he then moved closer to my ear and whisphered "your a mamma's boy".....yaa just dont know how bad I wanted to hit him......bammmm......right in the mouth......but I didnt.....

Anger, was and is, the first noticable symptom of my ptsd.....for me....

.........welcome kaotic.......hooraaa.......scouts out!