I am smiling a big sloppy grin as I write to you, my PC family....

He was such a gentle person, so kind, so beautiful inside and out...

When we watched Avatar I leaned in out of my seat in an anxious mess after a while...he rubbed my back gently, asked if I was feeling anxious, I cuddled in close, and he held my hand, gently stroking it

The conversation was light and sweet, honest, full of good ideas and stories about the special moments in our lives..

I can feel the dismal, empty, bitter, and heartwrenching lonlieness melt away...like the thought I had to spend the rest of my life alone (after all I hadnt met anyone at all half worthy in my 37 years of hell..) well that thought....is fading..

He kissed me gently at the end of the night and asked if he could call me later in the week..I said YES

I love the book we bought together at the bookstore, love his voice, love his personality...

Someone pinch me...I have never felt such a steadiness of life before..I feel less restless now....like my curse of having no one care about me gently and ever so slowly lift..like a breeze spreads the sweet noise of beautiful wind chimes...