Lisa, I lived for 16 years with someone that I thought was my friend. One way he manipulated was that he was so "nice"...You felt like a jerk if you suspected that something was "off". After all, he was the nicest person you've ever meet. When I left, I had nothing. No self-esteem, no confidence, nothing. It took a year of really intense therapy to even acknowledge that I was a person. I will not let anyone into my life, because of him. I wish I could get past it, but I can't. Manipulation is one of the worst tools that someone can use to destroy someone else. xoxo pat p.s. my best friend, who was his cousin, spent the night with him. i was more than crushed when i learned that, years later.