A month ago I found out I was pregnant. Not exactly the best time becuase my job was going to be moving to the state I always talked about moving back to. I was excited about the new job and the idea of finally having a baby - I'll be 40 soon and this would be my first one.

Two weeks later I lost the baby. The doctor said there was nothing I did wrong, it just wasn't meant to be. She also wanted to do some blood work to make sure about things. I jumped as she put the needle in my arm and for another week or so I'll have a huge reminder on the inside of my elbow.

Then earlier this week they told me the job in new place wouldn't happen for another year, if at all. I wasn't really looking forward to the move itself, but going back to the place I didn't really want to leave in the first place.

Needless to say these events didn't help my depression. Now my husband says I'm just supposed to cheer up. I may have lost the only chance I will have to be a mother - just weeks before Mother's Day and have to spend another year away from the place I love. How can I "just cheer up" after all that? He doesn't understand that I need to cry - he keeps telling me it hurts him when I do. I really don't want to cry at work all the time, but there understand it a little more - lots of moms who lost a baby at one point or another.

Thanks for letting me vent.