((((((((((((((Bama)))))))))))))) Try not to be so hard on yourself. Congratulations on the 10 months. That is something to be proud of. I have relapsed too and have found that I need to look forward instead of backward. You know you can as you went ten months. You are trying to recover from some very strong addictions. Do you have someone you can call? A counselor or a therapist? Feel free to PM me should you need someone to talk to. Keep posting.