My family still lives in the town I grew up in, about an hour away from here. I don't have a car. I HATE going to my hometown; it is a major trigger for me to even be in that town. I generally only go there for Christmas; I have someone pick me up in the afternoon on Christmas Eve and get a ride home after breakfast on Christmas morning.

The thing is, my family keeps asking me to come visit. If I had a car, I probably could handle going there for an afternoon since I would know I could leave whenever I wanted. Since I don't have a car, someone would have to pick me up, and they wouldn't want to bring me home the same day so I'd have to stay overnight and it's just a really bad idea to put myself in a triggering situation.

They know about all of my diagnoses, but I have not shared much about the PTSD...I'm finally to a point where I can get along okay with them, especially since my parents have changed a great deal. So I really don't want to hurt those relationships by telling them what parts they played in the traumas. I know they would disagree that they ever did anything wrong, and I know it would not benefit me at all at this time to dredge up the past with them.

They've been asking me to come visit a lot lately, and I've been turning them down, but I'm running out of excuses and I can tell they are getting annoyed with me, especially today because they wanted me to get a ride to their house with my friend (she is also good friends with my sister, so she visits a lot) on Friday, and stay until after Sunday's Mother's Day brunch. Since I won't come, someone will have to come pick me up on Sunday morning to go to brunch and then bring me home after. (I am glad that the restaurant is only about 20 minutes from my house, so it's not a major inconvenience) They never accept gas money from me, and I really feel guilty. Any advice? Thanks!!!!