I don't think he understands that he's lit fire to his own rear end and is burning his own bridges. That's the only reason I'd feel sorry for him. But if he doesn't care enough about himself to go/stay in therapy then I'd see no reason to even feel sorry for him.[/quote]

I share your opinion of his future!! I know when I think about my future and hopefully some day finding a new person to share my life with (who has been approved by my 6 brothers in law ) his behavior is not necessarily at the top of my "wish list".

When I try to imagine what his younger childhood must have been like to develop this "safety net", my heart just breaks for him (AHHH - and he knows it!!) But the sympathy quickly ends when I remember how many times I have told him I would stand by him and support / help ...AND the support system I have for me now, would be gladly and naturally extended to him as well in something like this..(and he has as many siblings as I do which would double the number of people).He just chooses to ignore it. WHEN he is behaving himself, he is (or is faking being) actually a very enjoyabe person to be around! But yes - he is burning ALOT of bridges!!