Heather...

I know you are there for me. I truely appreciate that. I am simply heartbroken as a result of the loss of the relatiosnhip as was in. And, to make matters worse she dispises me, which I can understand intellectually. But, on an emotional level she does not have any understanding of the pain I am going through. She treats me like I don't exist, like we never spent any time together. We were together over 2 years. I wanted so much to spend the rest of my life with her. And now this women ignores me, shares the most intimate details of my life with her friends (some that work with me).... the guilt and shame keep me up every night... I am tormented relentlessly with nightmares (all nightmares relating to my acting out or involving terrible things with my children) Sleep evades me yet all I want to do when I get home is crawl into bed. I worry endlessly about losing my job over this as she intimated that retaliation could be in order. I know I did wrong and deserve to be punished. I brought all this on myself.