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Always is a pretty strong term. Every day that you don’t SI, strangely (at least for me) makes the next day both easier and harder not to SI, I think this is something that only someone with our addiction could possibly understand.
Try to focus on the positive, and hey a relapse may happen, I know they do to me, but I try to see the glass as maybe not half full but at least not completely empty. Every day I don’t SI is a day I show myself I can do it, at least for a day, string a few of those together and you have a week. A few weeks become a month, and so on. And if you relapse, it isn’t the end of the world, just means you have start the clock over and you have a “base line” on how long you can hold out.
It is truly an addiction, and one you (WE) are going to have to fight every dam day, most people will never be able to understand this addiction, forget about them, they don’t get it, but you do. One day, or if that is too much, one hour, or five minutes. I can hold out for five minutes then I can reevaluate and commit to anointer five minutes, I have going for days without SI, five minutes at a time. Like any addiction you won’t every magically make it go away, you will have to learn to live with it, and not give into it.
And you are probably going to have to do what you have done many times in the past, start over after giving in, I hope you never do give in again, but if you do, it doesn’t mean you have lost the battle, just means you have to keep fighting, you can win, WE can win
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“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi
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