I don't think the way you feel makes you a freak. This place is huge and can be extremely overwhelming. Don't be too hard on yourself. I think your feelings are perfectly justified. Perna has some good advice. You can thin things down to a more manageable level.
Good luck and hang in there. You are a valued member here.
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Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long.
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