Yoda,
I did take my cell phone with me to the last walk. There were lots of people too. I thought I would walk more because of sidewalks but I seem to have an irrational fear of leaving and then, when I am out, I am feeling really 'noticeable'.
Some things happened to me when I was a young woman working in the downtown area where there are sidewalks. One of them was really, really traumatic.
If I am walking with someone or pushing a stroller, it seems safer but someone is not always available to go with me. Sometimes, I get scared in certain locations too, so I'm thinking this is debilitating and I need to get to the bottom of it. It's worse as more traumas are seen for what they are, instead of burying or denying them. I know this makes sense but the outcome (not being able to walk) is a new awareness and I guess I am also afraid I am becoming agorophobic.
I need to walk because I need to move around. I am blimping out. I walk sometimes in the mall but I really need the sunshine.
I haven't tried the bear spray yet. I'm a bit afraid of it myself, maybe b/c I think it is banned here (not that I would abuse it).
All these feelings are definately based on fear. I am hoping I can work on this on my next sessions as this part has revealed herself.
Thank you for asking, Yoda. I have read where these things can arise when they weren't there in the beginning. It just amazes and baffles me about the brain's ability and disability. I guess this must be the next thing I have to work on, kinda.
Thanks, again,
Hunny
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