i have been so incredibly happy spending so much time with my partner over the last few months. she's been around pretty much all the time. for one, i'm glad that she is doing well and not feeling so stressed that she must go away so often. i love her so much! but also, being around more of the time has challenges since i'm sure some of her alters helped a lot with certain stressful situations. it's interesting how that is.

however, during the last few months i have also been thinking a lot about her other people and i wonder how they are doing. i care about all of them too, and i do enjoy spending time with them. i hope they are well, and i hope they have what they need. <-- that's such a cute icon because my partner and her 4 others make 5!

i have been thinking about J a lot in particular. i couldn't even remember the last time i got to hang out with him. well he was around yesterday and i am SO glad we got to spend the whole night together. it was good for us both. we always have such a great time talking. i really like that we have such good conversations and he was very helpful and supportive to me since i have been having a rough time lately with SI struggles. he really understands me, and i'm so glad we can be friends. we also spent some good time snuggling and we watched the incredibles. it was so comforting. before we went to sleep he told me that he had a lot of good memories from the evening. i'm so happy he and i could share a special night together.

i am trying to think of that now because i am still struggling. the cats are here snuggling with me but i feel a little alone. i really like thinking about happy memories to take my mind away from what hurts.