(((Julial))) - I'm very sorry for the loss of your mother in such a tragic way. I've also been touched by suicide - lost my brother 2 yrs ago. I went through all the emotions like shock, anger etc. Talking about it here and helping others who are upset has helped me a great deal. I've reached a point, where I won't allow what my brother did, darken my own life - this was his decision.

Try not to feel guilty, because often there isn't much anyone can do, when they're determined. Are you a mother yourself? Did you get along with her when she was alive? If you did, perhaps you can focus on the positive things about her. She must have been in alot of pain and it's impossible for us to rationalize an irrational decision. I'll pray you find healing.