yes... i feel like it should be reasonable for me to find someone, but at the same time it seems impossible. i dont know how i'll know who is right for me without wasting a lot of time and money. i really tried last time and i wanted it to work but i just felt worse about myself and found myself lying and that's not gonna get me anywhere. i have no idea how to find a good therapist. and then i freak out when they ask me why i'm there because i struggle with even wanting to change. it's so overwhelming.