I am so sorry you have been through all this and I am so glad your aunt rescued you! Where is she now? Does she live nearby?

I find it hard to believe that the police did not arrest this man who took you and ***ed you (I am so so sorry!) - did they have an explaination why not?

I am pleased you love your son and connect with him despite how he was concieved. Your husband is right on that one - the boy did nothing wrong and I admire you for the love you have for him! Boys need strong mothers to care for them but also let them explore the world and separate from them. If you do not let him separate from you healthily and securely his identity would not develop properly and he can develop anything from mental illness to an abusive personality. I am not saying this scare you. I know what a good mother you are and strive to be - I just think that you really need to seek professional help to deal with everything so you can be the best mom you can. There should be some children centres around with professionals you can talk to as well.

The thoughts and feelings you describe when you were held away from the world are very normal. Its sad and painful to think that you became accepting of your captor but its a survival thing. I think you explained it very well. Dont be harsh on yourself. What do you need to do (apart from moving house of course which is great) in order to maintain good health, good spirit, good mental health and free yourself from anxiety?

I may not be around the next few days so will read your reply when I am back online. Stay positive xxx