BlackCanary, this whole seating issue has been very complex with you and your T. It is a big deal. I admire you for wanting to see what you can learn from it rather than just getting pissed off and quitting therapy.

I don't understand this. He agreed he should have handled it differently, but when the two of you "replayed" the moment, he didn't handle it any differently. Ouch. I think he was messing with you. He said one thing, and then did another, leading you on through this re-enactment, only to hurt you again. It would be one thing if he never intended to do things differently, but to say he should have, and then to not do it--what a hurtful charade. If he didn't intend to do things differently in the do-over he should just have said let's not bother because I would do it the same again, instead of this BS about how he should have handled it differently. I would be very angry if my T jerked me around like that. I absolutely detest when people play games like that. If we can't be direct and honest in therapy, why are we there?

I find his choosing to sit in a different place very complex. Is he moving because he wants to face you? Is he moving to be further away from you? Or is he moving to regain some power he gave up early in the relationship (he feels controlled by you)? If he just wants to face you so he can see you better, perhaps it is time for you to try that. You've been seeing him awhile so should have some degree of comfort with him now. But why does he also have to sit so far away if all he wants is to face you? Couldn't he sit closer and face you? It seems very hurtful to put a lot of extra distance between you and explain it by saying he wanted to face you. But how did he explain it?--He wanted to be back in his regular place so he could be more effective. So he has to be in a certain place to conduct therapy. That's kind of rigid, but every T has their quirks. So can your T sit in his special spot so he feels at ease and "effective" and you can move your chair closer to him? That way he gets to face you, you get to be closer to him, and he gets to feel he has power back because he "won" and is in his special spot. So you all get something from this. If you ask him if you can move closer because you can't see him and you feel the distance is so very great, and he declines, I think either he's kind of weird or fighting some kind of "I must have my way or I won't play" kind of battle with you.

I think there's a lot going on with you two.