Well that's the thing. I'm the one who screwed it all up, not him. So maybe he just harbors a lot of resentment about the whole deal. He had THOUSANDS of dollars in the bank until I came along and f'd it all up. I charged up one $7,500 credit card behind his back in a matter of weeks (I was manic...not yet in treatment). When I was in the hospital and not getting paychecks, and then when I got fired for being crazy, we dipped into lines of credit just to pay the bills. We HAD a huge savings account but it's tied up in a land purchase - we intended to buy a house. We were supposed to sign the papers on the mortgage the day I landed in the psych ward.

So, basically:

$25,000 of the debt is my student loans - all mine, prior to the marriage
$25,000 of the debt we incurred in 2008-2009 from my hospitalizations and unemployment, including medical bills - all my fault
$25,000 is our two car loans - $14,000 for his, $11,000 on mine

So out of ALL that debt...only his car loan is really his "fault." The rest is all mine.

And when we moved here in the summer of 2007, he had over $80,000 CASH sitting in the bank, and was debt-free. At that point all I had was my student loans, and his car was a lease, mine was a paid-for beater.

Now we have a $60,000 plot of land that no one will buy (been listed for over 18 months) and no money in savings, and $75,000 in debt.

And it's all because I went crazy and lost my job. And the student loans are because I was crazy in college - I really shouldn't have those, I had a full-ride scholarship and I worked part-time jobs. I used the loans for who knows what.