I am hoping someone here can give me some advice. I am in trouble. I am ill again and in a lot of severe pain. I havent slept for several days, I am really tired. I am very emotional as well. My medical team want to give me an opiate based painkiller but so far I have refused it, but I cannot go on enduring this pain for much longer. I am stuck and terrified that if I do take the medication I will be back to square one with an addiction craving that I have fought off for a long time. I feel I will have failed and let myself and so many other people down on many levels.

I know realistically that I cannot take much more of this pain. Does anyone in recovery have experience in dealing with this sort of situation?

I have tried all the non-addictive approaches to pain management but cannot get any relief. On a scale of 1 to 10 the pain is a constant 7 often peaking at a 9. I am worn out and so so tired. I cannot eat and have lost weight I cannot afford to lose. I have tried things like yoga and meditation but the pain breaks through my concentration.

I feel a failure. Does anyone know of anything I can do or explore without having to resort to an opiate painkiller?

Help......pathetic as I sound but I really need advice.