I know the feeling. Lately it seems like no matter how hard I pray for things to improve, God just keeps throwing hardship my way. The phrase "God gives us mountains so we learn how to climb," often comes to me at those times, and I can't help but think, "I'm not a mountain climber! I just want a stable family environment. Is that too much to ask?!?!"

At the same time, I'm not willing to give up on God yet, because I know He hasn't given up on me. Why would He have laid this path out before me if He didn't know with total certainty that I could walk it, difficult as it sometimes becomes? With each step I take, even if I step on something that cuts my feet to ribbons and leaves me sobbing, I do become stronger, more independent, and a better person--not to mention a better Christian. Most, if not all, of the hardships I have endured have reinforced Christ's teachings in my life, and made me acutely aware of how I need to serve other people in this life. Sometimes that is difficult and it complicates this a lot, because with a mental illness of any kind you also have to be deeply aware of your own self and serve yourself first, at times.

I pray that the Lord comes through for you, my friend, and that He shows you, even in some small way, that He loves you, cares for you, and knows what you are going through. Even in my worst moments, even when my faith is so small I can barely feel it, I cradle that one small drop of hope I have left. Sometimes God does throw me a bone and shows me that, in the midst of suffering, there is happiness and hope: every good day, every tiny good thing that happens, I credit to Him.

Good luck and God bless!