A can certainly understand your position. I have seen this type of behavior before. She cuts off communication with you and does not share responsibilities as her focus narrows to her recovery. If someone spends all her time focusing on healing, she's not really living a life in the present. Most married women in recovery would love their husbands to come to a session or two. It reinforces that you care. If you were not around to take care of the daily matters, what do you think she would say "oh mortgage person I can't pay the mortgage because I really need to focus on me right now". What about all your other creditors? The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Sure there are times when we really need to heal and we have to take care of ourselves or we will attempt or be destructive, but not for the extended period of time she has been doing this. She is not being responsible and does not see the negative consequences of in her inaction. She needs a wake up call!