OK, I've got a thread in the SI area, and I've focused on trying to get help with that, I always have. I've not once asked for help or delved into many areas of my problematic waste of existance refered to as 'life'. heh

So, I'm really anxious to be posting this because IDK what to expect, I just don't talk about this stuff, unless it's to friends, and even then it rarely comes up.

Sleep, well, it's always been an issue with me, although I could barely ever pinpoint the actual issues in the first place. Ever since I was a baby I've hated sleep. Obviously I do sleep, I just sleep at seriously fudged up times and either too much (and the usual fatigue continues) or not enough. I'm commonly up late at night, well, early morning, I should say. Since I was about 16 I've had worse sleep problems. I really struggle to pinpoint it, I guess it's something maybe you can only understand if you know me, and know my past. During these times I had bad sleep deprevasion for quite some time, on and off, giving me mild hallucinations and extreme paranoia.

Currently I go to sleep at about 4-5am and it's slowly getting worse. I wake up at about 1-2pm. Either I have this refusal to sleep inside of me, and an almost instinctive urge to stay up as long as possible, or I literally can't sleep, hence insomnia (common unless I wreck myself) or I'll be fearful of the silence, knowing my mind would be free of distraction and able to pretty much wonder and think.

I am capable of flipping my sleep around, and it's stressful and tireing to do so, it's very unpleasant; I'm assuming you guys know what it's like? IDK. Anyway, I've done it many times over the years, and it usually ends up with me staying up all night and all day (or attempt to) until I literally overlap it all and somehow end up normal, well, once my body gets at least a bit used to it. But, then ALL it takes is ONE moment of insomnia, or that horrible refusal to sleep that I fight so hard against, or this ridiculous s--t that life gives me. Anything can theoretically throw me off. *sighs*

So, I'm really sorry for typing so much, it's just been a great many years of suffering from whatever the hell I have, in regards to sleep, and I didn't want to waste your time with vague nonsense.

If you have the same problem, please just at least say.. I feel so alone with this problem, and it just further adds to the Depression.

Thank you.