Even though I have come, over the years, to regard my stepmother differently, with pluses as well as differences, I still get a tiny spark of enjoyment by realizing that she's dead but I'm not yet :-) My therapist said my life would change in a major way when my stepmother died and, even having been told, I was surprised when it did. The freedom and "comfort" of being on my "own" and not having to take her views into consideration (and still not realizing how much I had) is so great. I don't have to spent so much of my energy "resisting" but can be more positive and forward moving instead.