oww
hugs


Look - as much as you THINK you do not have power - you haven`t SIed till now - so you HAVE made it!You have the power and courage and whatever it takes. You feel fear and weakness and all - and you know - because you are so used to SI as a way of dealing...but you have been dealing...and yeah..

I know the feeling and you gotta replace it with something else. I don`t know - write to yourself, imagine you hurt all those who hurt you....you can use as an output not ONLY your skin... basically - this is not useful ..it just makes everything more disillusioned....

You do not deserve to hurt physically because you hurt mentally - even if subconsciously you are choosing it like we all do. You deserve to heal and you know that repeating this habit again will no help. So you don`t want to go back....

You have made it until now and if you made it WITH the dear and anxiety and spacey and disconnected and one edge and fragile...you felt the need to bleed and with
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL THAT:

You didn`t give in!

It will get somewhat better. Nothing lasts for ever.