I'll start off by saying this is my first post/contribution to these forums. But I've been reading for a little while now.

Charlotte: I'm 19 years old. I've never been diagnosed with depression. I'd guess that I've had depression since I was around 14 years old. That was when I first started cutting and some friends of mine reported it to the guidence department in my school.

Unfortunately, my school's counselors were rather incompetent, and I didn't want help, so it wasn't difficult to pretend everything was ok. Adults are frequently ready to blame puberty and/or PMS on these sorts of problems. I eventually went to my physician, who told me it was likely that I DID have depression, and referred me to a psychologist.

If you go to someone in your school, it is entirely possible that they will report it to your parents, because of the liability issues they could face. But if you go to your regular physician and explain to them how you feel, they may be able to refer you to a psychologist who will be able to determine whether or not it IS just teen nerves, or if there's more to it. If you go to your physician and request to be put on birth control, or have a pregnancy test done, or even as far as having an abortion performed, there are confidentiality laws to protect that (I think that's federal, but I know it's at least a state lawin many places). I don't see why depression shouldn't be just as confidential. At least talk to your doctor about it, because they'll be able to point you in the right direction. Just be honest.

You're starting off right by wanting help. That was my biggest mistake, was thinking I could handle it on my own. I did it. It was unbelievably difficult, and now, 5 years later, it's coming back (thus the reason I joined these forums). But this time I'm going to get help. You can get through this if you want it bad enough (and that message goes out to everyone here.)

Best of luck, darling. From what I've been reading, it seems to me you came to the right group of people.

I find it kind of funny,
I find it kind of sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take.
When people run in circles,
It's a very very
Mad world.
Mad world.