I haven't been here in a long time. Too many things going on to go into ATM, but I will tell more in time.

Basically, I have just hit the rock bottom of depression. I seem to have super cycles (as I call them) about every 6-8 months. This has been one of the worst. I cycle more than that, but the BIG ones are 6-8 mos.

On Wednesday I was feeling very low. Thank goodness my husband was there, is loving, caring and ever-so patient.

I cannot tell the last time I had ever felt this low. We think that part of the issue might have been because I am weening off Norco from my surgery in March. Like, my cycles wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for that. IDK how true that is, but I believe it.

My irritability is sky high...everything ticks me off right now. I have no patience, no self-esteem, anger, sadness and am just plain miserable. I don't want or feel like doing much of anything except for sleeping. I hate my job, I hate my life and I hate everything.....everything.

I miss the highs, I really do. I miss feeling like I can conquer the world, be who I want to be, not care about anyone looking at me or what they are thinking, staying up til all hours of the night and being able to manage off of a couple hours of sleep.....accomplishing SOOOO much in such a short amount of time.

Ok, enough Blah, Blah, Blah, It's nothing more than anyone else with Bipolar has dealt with....I just wanted to share....while I have the energy.

No one has to worry because I am ok. I am not suicidal and I am not doing anything stupid. I just really needed a safe place to vent.