I just recent lost my 33 year old sister. She was murdered. Om having such a hard time accepting the fact that she is actually gone. Everytime the reality starts to hit me emotionally I just push it out of my head like its not real. I'm afraid that I accept the reality that I will have a nervous breakdown than on top of that she passed 2/27 my aunt passed 3/12 my uncle passed 3/13 and my great aunt passed 4/6. I don't know how to deal with the emotion of it. All I do is push the emotions away like it never happened. Any suggestions?