I'm glad you posted Please, keep writing if it helps, we all care

I relate so much to your post, but I can't really help (otherwise I would already be ok myself ). The only thing that comes to mind is: you could think of something you'd like to do, something that you find interesting (starting a new activity, beginning to study a subject you'd like to know more about)... anything that gives your life at least a direction, if not a purpose, and makes you keep going.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, I know what it's like
Hang in there