Well, in my earlier post I told you guys what's going on. I am stuck and don't know where to go from here. My pdoc wanted me to go to the hospital after taking so much Xanax at one time. I admit that I am somewhat suicidal because I am tired of taking so many steps forward and then BHAM! I am just feeling so paralyzed. I don't know what to do. I am supposed to see the pdoc Monday morning but I don't want to go. He'll just put me back on my meds ( I still have plenty of Xanax from past prescriptions). I am tried of fighting.