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May 09, 2010, 09:11 AM
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by musikcrazy
Well, just went I thought things were on the upside they have crashed down. As most of you know I had accepted a new music job for next school year teaching K-8. Well, yesterday the principal calls me and tells me that they cannot fire the current teacher because HR told the principal that he must first put him on an improvement plan for a year. I am absolultey devestated. There are no other music positions and I cannot teach another year in the regular classroom. I was so angry that I came home and took four 2mg pills of Xanax XR. I got scared and called my pdoc who wanted me to go to the hospital, but I refused. I just passed out and my hubbie kept checking on me to make sure I was ok. I woke up this morning not remembering anything from yesterday except the principal calling. Now I am afraid to go back to work Monday as I left the school after I found out. I had my coworker cover for me, but I left crying and a mess. I am so embarrassed. And here I was trying to go off of my meds to have another baby. I feel like such a failure and I don't know what to do. Please help.  |
Dear Musikcrazy,
As others have said: it is not your fault! You are NOT a failure, just because you resonded the way you did. I do totally understand your response to this difficult situation! And it feels even worse because there is nothing you can do to change it.
I know you want to escape the situation. But you have to face it at some point, and doing that earlier rather than later I think will be easier to handle.
It is true that anybody would have been upset. So try not to be ashamed or embarrased. There is no need. I know it is easier said than done, but I just want to encourage you in a different thinking pattern, you know what I mean?
It is hard what you are going thru. Once you have worked your way thru, and have settled down, start thinking again about getting pregnant. I am glad your pdoc is concerned about you. Try and visit when you can, it is important to work with your pdoc re meds adn pregnancy and also this situation.
Do you have a T? It might help to speak with your T as well. Anything that will help you to get you back on your feet and more stabilized!
Take care of yourself, sweety!
__________________
 The Crazy Rambler
Friends are God's way of apologizing for family...
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters!!!! (Garfield) 
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