Quote:
Originally Posted by lila11
Hitting or slapping would be seen as an act of aggression if it is between children or adults. Is it not agression because you are an adult or in charge of the situation?
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Lila, you raised two (very good) points:
1. Slapping, as any hit,It could be and generally is a gesture of aggression!
(Could you say that - after I tried to do the same like my daughter and hitting myself trying to make her understand that was not a way to behave, other ways were tried before but at that age she didn't comprehend talking to her as we talk now here - slapping my daughter, I repeat once and trying not to harm her, it was a gesture of aggression?)
2. Physical ABUSE, from the moment it could be understood as aggression, it's the same; no matter it happens between adults, adults and children and even only children. You made me think about this:
ABUSE should be punished no matter who are the ones involved but we should took in consideration as aggravating circumstance the fact that one is more vulnerable; age, ill, position of authority (or in charge of the situation sounds the same for me) etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lila11
When children are hit, slapped or spanked, they learn that these behaviors are acceptable -- and that this is the way to control situations. Is that what you want to teach the child?
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I am not perfect and maybe I do not find all the time the perfect behaviour that I want to teach them. I could be malicious and ask you in reply about so many bad things that parents could show to children and could be more dangerous than a slap (drugs, alcohol, things in sex field, cheating, stealing, harming others for getting their way, etc) things that a child learn that are acceptable even only a part of them were used as a way to control the child directly or implicit. But that's not the point. Maybe others are doing better and all the time find the best solution.
On the other hand I think children have to know what exists as possibility in a way that's not harmful. (I think Tishie noticed that) Do not forget that we have learned not only through positive example! I know that I learned through negative examples and things that I didn't like when happened to me. Later in life I rejected to repeat them in my own life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lila11
Will the hitting or spanking solve the situation or just give it a temporary fix and way for the adult to relieve their frustration?
~lila
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Are you capable to solve all the time the things on long term and stay away from "temporary fix"? A lot of people are saying that medicine for children with ADHD are given with a very bad effect in time for children while adults assured their escape from frustrations. I am definitely against relieving frustrations on others and sometimes a one slap once in a while could be such thing! But I don't think that it could be done
calm - when frustrated, people are ANGRY! - and without harming (without marks or later pain)