Thanks all. I am quite lucky in that my p-doc does take her time to listen to me. When I meet with her, we discuss my emotions, what things are happening in my life and therefore could impact me. She looks at the bigger picture before decided if changing my meds is really necessary, or if I am in a position that would also stress a "normal" person.

I can phone her whenever and say: Help, I'm about to come crashing down, I'm worried about getting through the weekend... blah blah blah. But I do often long to have someone to just talk to; who I can be totally open with, and maybe reach a stage where I can just let it all go and allow the tears to flow. I find I've been battling to allow myself to cry since I've been on these mood stabilisers. Maybe even slightly before then. I feel I just need to let loose, but cannot. The last time I "could" cry, was when I was in excruciating pain due to a migraine, or when I was put under such huge stress I couldn't cope (I actually felt stupid that day - my b/f was just asking me to phone the lady that owns the farm to tell her we'd shortly be there to visit our horses - I'm not afraid of her... )) I just couldn't cope.

This weekend I think I experienced mania. Started about Thursday (got to bed at 1AM, and had to be up at 6:30AM for work), Friday we met up with friends and had a few drinks and I was still in a great mood and partying at 1AM (I usually need my 10 hours of sleep). I had to take a sleeping tablet to fall asleep. Saturday night I couldn't fall asleep, and eventually climbed out of bed to get a sleeping tablet. Last night I just took one the minute I got into bed. I have however been a bit snappy, arguementative and loud, and Saturday I decided to go shopping - so bought 2 pairs of shoes.
Friday I acted impulsively, and decided to buy a pet chameleon!! SO Saturday I had to buy him all his odds and ends.

Yesterday I tried to study for an exam, but hardly could concentrate and eventually gave up. Today (especially as it is monday) I'm in a fair mood, but can feel slight anxiety starting. And I'm beginning to feel clingy.