sannah thank you for the insight but we can firmly and definitively say "no" to the projecting. maybe a few years ago but we are more than willing and open to hear constructive and helpful suggestions and have actually made progress moving out of the past. we made a complete and total break from one of our primary CSAers and have stayed firm on it for close to 2 years now despite the fact that our cores 2 oldest live with them(her gparents) and have written her off. there have been a lot of positive changes but we now constantly live under threats of being terminated if we "dont shape up or you will ship out". she threatens to withold services from us if we dont "behave",once when she was giving us a ride home from a group and we had been severely triggered by something she ordered us to do and we reacted badly she asked us why we didnt allow the person in group next to us to link arms and pray with us? we said becuase we didnt want to be touched at that moment and here is literally the response she screamed at us-I DONT F*ING CARE!!!!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW POOR(the other persons name)MUST HAVE FELT SO REJECTED???? umm.....wtf???? please tell me if thats proper protocol in helping someone? im sorry if we sound angry but just recalling that makes us feel like garbage again