Saturday was great.....we watched movies together, we saw "Bedtime Stories," and he held me close and cuddled...he told me more about why he hasnt seen his kids in a while, a misunderstanding, and he is just starting to get his life back together now.....he told me more about his friendships he has had for years, his mother's day brunch with his mother, his dreams of owning a house in the city, he asked if I was plesantly surprised as I got to know him better, and smiled. I shared more about how I am in therapy, how abusive my mother was, more about my deep friendships, he listened well..

Sunday we went to the most beautiful mall in the city....and he went in the stores _I liked, too Asked about my clothing style, we looked at clothes a bit..movies a lot......looked for shoes for him..video games..tried the free sample of tea...joked about things...

We are also getting together Tuesday! Then his next day off, Saturday..

I see what I have been missing all these lonely, lonely, years..it's a lot....

There is nothing I can do to get back how empty I felt for so long......but, there are things I can do NOW in my relation, my first taste of love, my shot at sharing what has been a very lonely life with someone, to walk side by side instead of treading water and drowning here....

I guess a life presever has appeared...and I'm never letting go