Pegasus, I dont feel adequate to post here but I am anyway.

Dont know really what to say except observances really. You have been dealing with so much uncertainty in your real life with your career, and the job you do is not a job it is a vocation. I did something similar to it for all of one day a while back and I couldnt imagine dealing or managing with the stress and challenges that your daily career throws at you. It is extremely demanding emotionally, spiritually and physically.

You are at a bit of a crossroads it would appear and need to grasp onto some balance somewhere. PC does not seem to be compensating at the moment and it would seem this is the first time you have been confronted with this feeling? I dont know, just gasping at straws here and I am no psychologist.

You are very sage and august. You may need to retreat and rest a while. There is no shame or doubt in that. You have professed to so many about self care, now it would appear is the time do so yourself.

I personally hate change and not having you about would be a great change. I dont know you at all, I know of you and your presence here only and it is has always been a sanctuary in the storm.

But I know I have had to withdraw for a while for various reasons and it has been good for me to do so.

Do what is right for you and please leave it open that you can come back when you feel the need to do so. We are all welcome here for whatever reason that is. Some fo us dont click with each other, some are more prominent that others, some mouth off and like me can be inappropriate at times, others offer great advice and counsel, more offer suppport and reason to those of us gasping for air.

We are all on a journey, yours is that bit more progressed that many here, you are the wisest ever and most posted. But in the background there are others coming up behind you and will also post many fold. Remember that the beauty of the journey that this life is, is not the destination but the journey itself. I think and hope that maybe you have come to take a detour on this journey and want a break and to sightsee elsewhere for a while and when its right for you will pop back on the train that we are all on.