Jammer,

I want to focus on the first part of your post where you feel like you cant turn back the clock and get back what you have lost as a child. I totally understand that, so well in fact, that it angers me just reading it again.

I tried to deal with those feelings while in therapy but really wasnt able to get passed the anger. The more and more I think about it, the angryer (sp) I get. It's as if, one person who had the power to make my childhood special, meaningful, peaceful and happy....chose to make mine, scary, sad to the point of being physically ill, angry beyond words, dirty, and there is not one thing in this world that can ever change that. Ever. That time is gone...gone...gone.

I can offer no advice of comfort. Not because I dont want to, because I do, but because I too feel the same as you and I have no clue how to deal with those feelings or be at peace with it.

((((((((((((((((((((Jammer)))))))))))))))))))

I guess I can offer you hugs of support for the anger and frustration you feel because I feel it too.