So I am awake

Out of a sound sleep

My mind is racing, so fast that I cant even begin to tell you the thoughts that are going through my mind. I guess the usual thoughts, death, blah, blah, blah, blah....the usual.

I get so scared to the point where I cant even move. I want to move. I want to run away, but I dont, I lay here, waiting. I always wonder when will this end. This fear, these thoughts. When will my throat feel not tight. When will I be able to catch my breath.

So I get up to take the dog out. I sit on the front step and I gaze at the sky. All I see is absolute clearness, stars, moon, silence in the sky.....peace

Makes you wonder, how can my life go from terror to absolute beauty.