Granite I feel bad for you right now. My parents are getting older and I'm dreading the day when health issues come into the picture and they need my help (I know that sounds terrible but that's how I feel). I'm hoping they pass quickly when there time is up. - can't believe i just said that.

I deal with my mom in the very same way. Say very little to prevent any further conflict flare ups (something I have to change - I am very passive when it comes to my parents). My mom gets mouthy after having a drink so it makes going out to dinner real fun!! - NOT!! - I do the dreaded birthday dinner every year and we visit her at her home so she can get some time with her grandsons.

Kudos to you for doing the right thing! (and be sure to spend lots of time at the pool )