Heather...

Do I think that some of the things my ex girl friend did were purposeful to hurt me? Absolutely. There was no reason for her to tell all her friends. And, no reason to make sure that I knew about it. Further, she has made it very clear that retaliation is possible. At one point she even billed me for all the expenses in our relationship and if I didn't pay her she was going to blow me in to my boss. So clearly she does have an evil streak.

People behave out of character when stressed. What is frustrating to me is that it is OK for her to act inappropriately when stressed but I am still the villain. The actions I took were a direct result of severe stress and depression. Admittedly I pushed her to her limits I am sure. But, I had no malicious intent. And, I do love her so very much. But, all that gets lost. I guess it is the bigger person that can look past the mistakes and see someone's inner beauty. To be able to stick with it for the long haul. What is frustrating to me is that I was good enough to be with her to be her companion when she needed me but then I became expendable. I guess I got what I deserved. And, this one event more than any other has changed my life. I am just so very tired of living with this pain each and every day.