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Torn, this is a really good point that you are making here. This "lack of" sums up my upbringing too and it can cause so many problems. I use the words "my problems were from acts of omission, not commission". Our development requires attention and when we don't get this attention our development is lacking. The good news is that we can continue our development as an adult.
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........
I'm an ISFJ
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