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Originally Posted by BlueMoon6
I didnt expect to be talking about parent stuff or how I felt around my mother or father. Maybe this whole quest for something greater, a connectedness to the universe is just a big 'ol longing for mommy and daddy. And a place to call home.
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I found myself spending a lot of time thinking about my parents when I delved into spirituality as well. I think we are all connected, and understanding our ancestry is one way to learn who we are. If we can look at the formative bonds with our parents, we can see how we were taught to connect with the world. That knowledge is priceless, because once we understand what 'programming' we received, it is so much easier to 'reprogram' things the way we want them.
If you are having a difficult time with the 'male' God, I would suggest connecting with Mother Earth. Feel the feminine energy of life-giving, of comfort, and nourishment. Imagine you are a little seed, and the earth is surrounding you and holding you and keeping you safe until the 'right' time to sprout.
I personally find it is a balance. I view the feminine part of God as being the earth, and the masculine part of God as being the sun. We need both the earth and the sun to grow. But without some strong roots, any little seedling will be burned by the sun. And without enough sun, it will be hard to grow.
There is no 'right or wrong', there is only what you need *right now* to help you find that balance.
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I told her I feel like I was damaged at the deepest part of me and I can never heal the damage that was done. It takes so much effort and I wont really be healed. I'll be broken pieces held together with tape and glue, I want to feel whole and comfortable in this world but I never will.
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The tree that has the strongest trunk is the one that withstood the winds. You can bend a sapling, and it grows back stronger. I know you feel like you will always be broken, but IMHO, all of this 'wind' is just making you one strong and resilient person.