Most marriages were not based on love. That is the first problem. My mom learned (and she will tell me to this day "whats love got to do with it") when it comes to love in marriage. Sick stuff I tell you. My mother was treated like a house maid. No love there. She grew up poor but tight knit community. I guess my mom wanted to get away from small Jewish communities. She went to college, acted like a snob and I think she resented being Jewish on one hand and acts like the last Holocaust survivor. Taught me "people will be nice to your face and turn around and call you a dirty Jew". Maybe she believes this because her house is immaculate and she is usually chasing invisible dirt. When a serious religious ceremony is about to take place, it is "too Jewish". Go figure! If it is a Jewish social occasion, hey, she's right there with the best dress, silver candle sticks. She hates any kind of open flame because my grand mother use to tell her how important fire was to cook and keep warm. CONTINUED