Kaika,

Thank you for feeling safe enough to post. I do understand some of it. The sinking feeling is the worst. Sometimes I feel as if the air of life is being squeezed from my lungs because I keep getting dragged deeper and deeper, not literally but figuratively. I am not sure if this is truly what you are talking about but this has been my experience. Everyone here is listening and sending positive thoughts and warm fuzzies your way.

Cris