((((Innerzone)))) Ugh, it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment! I do agree with sugahorse that you need to try and focus on the good things (yes, easier said than done!). Are there no other options for seeing a pdoc or T? I know our county has some different programs set up. I hope things look better for you soon...take care!!
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From the movie The Hours: "If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark, and that only I can know. Only I can understand my condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too."