She wants me to not call her a zillion times before the next appt to make sure that she's actually going to be there. (I like to check.) She says she knows it is very hard for me to trust that she is reliable and she will be there, and if she can't be, she will let me know. She wants me to try believing that she will do what she says. She says I can still email her and call her when I want, just not about that one thing.

I feel like she is really sick of me and never wants to hear from me again.

I know that is not true.

I am going to do what she says.

But I can't think of anything else, and I can't concentrate on work, and it is making me want to use bad coping mechanisms. (But I won't.)

She says that if she wanted me to not see her anymore she would be able to do that, and she said she is not doing that. She just wants me to try to trust her on this one thing.

It shouldn't be a big thing, but it is making me feel very tense.

Just venting. Or something.

-Far